oh snap! i mean, chesquito! FANMIX!!!1
Sep. 19th, 2007 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenel_kaPHANMIX PHUN. LET US BEGIN. XD
2006. Meet Lisey Landon. Lisey is the widow of the popular author Scott Landon -- yeah, the sameScoot Scott Landon who died two years ago of "pneumonia." The same Scott Landon who wrote Empty Devils. The same Scott Landon who got shot in the chest in Nashville. Son of "Sparky" Landon and brother to Paul Landon, Scott shared secrets with Lisey he had never revealed to anyone. What's a bool? A blood-bool? What's Boo'ya Moon? Once Lisey realizes her life is in danger, thanks partly to his leftover manuscripts, she has to recall all the memories about him that she locked away and with his help -- along with the help of his personal demons -- she just might be able to save herself. SOWISA, babyluv.
[ This smucking cut below contains the .zip file, a tracklisting (featuring such eargasms as 65daysofstatic, Kate Bush, Guano Apes, The Birthday Massacre, Mesh, Tears for Fears and Imogen Heap) and the front & back covers of many yays -- featuring Jennifer Connelly as the widowed heroine and hotshot "gal pal" Lisey Landon and Kevin Zegers as the late and way too great Scott Landon. Also, some Norman Reedus as the horrible Jim Dooley, and Bryce Dallas Howard as young!Amanda for good measure. I'm hoping this whole fan-ordeal cons more people into reading the book, because hot damn, it's love. ]
Welcome to SOWISA, a fanmix surrounding the 2006 novel by Stephen King, Lisey's Story and the second in what'll probably be a line of King fanmixes (you can find the first, for The Long Walk, here). I didn't really know what to expect when I started reading this book, but it struck something with me and quickly grew on me. The imagery is gorgeous, the characters are addictive and you just don't want the damn book to end. Stephen King tries his hand once more at a main female protagonist, and just like he does with all of his works, makesfucking smucking magic. Plus, the relationship the Landon's share with each other during their courtship and marriage is absolutely amazing. Scott Landon is that husband you don't want to admit you want for yourself ("I CUTZ MY HAND IN THE GREENHOUSE JUST FOR YOOOOU!" -- the way he makes sure everything's the same) and Lisey is that wife you always wished you could have (Brains, bravery and brawn, check -- also, effing hilarious and hot). Books and movies and such don't usually make me cry -- this one did. Like a little bitch. WAIIIII~ D:
SOWISA -- a fanmix for Lisey's Story
"I am crazy, Lisey. I have delusions and visions. I write them down, that's all. I write them down and people pay me to read them."
-----------------------------------------------------------
DROVE THROUGH GHOSTS TO GET HERE -- 65daysofstatic
... (instrumental) ...
.. "This is our time now. You and me. That's what matters."
.. You and me. But does she want that? Now that she sees how narrowly he's balanced? Now that she has a picture of what life may be like? Then she thinks of how his lips felt in the hollow of her temple, touching that special secret place, and she thinks, Maybe I do. Doesn't every hurricane have an eye?
.. "Is it?" she asks.
.. For several seconds he says nothing. Only holds her.
.. "Baby," he says at last.
.. Pauses.
.. Then: "Babyluv."
.. Lisey Debusher, twenty-two, weary of her family and equally tired of being on her own, it is enough. Finally enough. He has hollered her home, and in the dark she gives in to the Scott of him. From then until the end she will never look back.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WONDERFUL LIFE -- Gwen Stefani
... I thought of you again today
reminded me how in time I've changed
if you only knew what you gave to me
now you can't be found
and you were the first I trusted
I learned what love is
when we were just kids
when did you get so lost
how could you think you'd be better off ...
.. -- I don't know, Scott. I'll think about it.
.. Not meaning to. Wanting to never think about it again, if she could help it. As far as Lisey was concerned, the smucking looneytune with the little gun could join the other things she's successfully forgotten since meeting Scott.
.. -- Hot, wasn't it?
.. Lying in bed. Still pale, far too pale, but starting to get a little of his color back. Casual, no special look, just making conversation. And Lisey Now, Lisey Alone, the widow Landon, shivered.
.. "He didn't remember," she murmured.
-----------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU BELIEVE -- Our Lady Peace
... if you believe in the world i'm calling
if you believe in the world i saw
if you believe in the world i'm calling
you'd be strong ...
.. For awhile wait for the wind change had become part of their marriage's interior language, like strap it on or SOWISA and smuck for fuck. Then it had fallen out of favor somewhere along the way, and she hadn't thought of it for years: wait for the wind to change. Meaning don't give up yet.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WALK THIS EARTH ALONE -- Lauren Christy
... but I walk this earth alone
but all I've ever known
is you are right beside me
if I love you for a day
you'll blow my life away
could I leave you behind me ...
.. Scott puts a hand to his face, rubs it, looks at her again. And he's back. Just like that. "Christ, Lisey," he says. "I've never talked about this stuff, never, not to anyone. Are you okay with this?"
.. "Yes, Scott."
.. "You're one hell of a brave woman, then. Have you started telling yourself it's all bullshit yet?" He's even grinning a little. It's an uncertain grin, but it's genuine enough to kiss: first one corner, then the other just for balance.
.. "Oh, I tried," she says. "It didn't work."
-----------------------------------------------------------
FRAGILE -- Lacuna Coil
... dare is about obsession
it’s something inside
wounds are bleeding in my hands
turning blind
no one will ever stop this self made decline
nothing really matters
he’s watching me
what if I look away and deal with it
digging in my grave
I won’t deny it ...
.. "It's very close, honey. I can't see it, but I..." Another long, screaming intake of breath. "I hear it taking its meal. And grunting." Smiling that bloody clown-smile as he says it.
.. "Scott, I don't know what you're talk--"
.. The hand that has been tugging at her top has some strength left in it, after all. It pinches her side, and cruelly -- when she takes her top off much later, in the motel room, she'll see a bruise, a true lover's knot.
.. "You..." Screamy breath. "Know..." Another screamy breath, deeper. And still grinning, as if they share some horrible secret. A purple secret, the color of bruises. The color of a certain flowers that grow on certain
.. (hush Lisey oh hush)
.. yes, on certain hillsides. "You... know... so don't... insult my... intelligence." Another whistling, screaming breath. "Or your own."
-----------------------------------------------------------
PHANTASMAGORE -- Deadsy
... bereathed in burning fires
a plasmic herald sinks alone and cries
"let bleed the nectars of devotion"
beneath the earth still lies phantasmic emerald paradises
come cosmic thunder, sip the potion
let the suicide of music take control
as the carrier infuses to your soul ...
.. He's leading her someplace. She feels high grass whispering against her thighs. Then it's gone and she realizes they're on a well-worn path cutting through the drifts of lupin. It leads into what Scott calls the sweetheart trees, and she wonders if there are people here. If there are, how do they stand it? Lisey wonders. She wants to look again at that ascending goblin moon, but she doesn't dare.
.. "Be quiet under the trees," Scott says. "We should be okay a little longer, but better safe than sorry is a good rule to follow even on the edge of the Fairy Forest."
.. Lisey doesn't think she could talk much above a whisper even if he demanded it. She's doing well to manage Oh, Scott.
-----------------------------------------------------------
HIGH -- Guano Apes
... the wind falls, into a wave
shadows calling I'm the ache
nightmare's turned me back
into a little girl
stop in the mud try was so clear
when suddenly
and the body starts to shiver
hold me
it is not too high
I can make it ...
.. Scott knows, too. The arm around her, just below her breasts, tightens a bit more. Once again his lips move against the cup of her ear. "If we're going home, we have to go right now," he murmurs. He's totally with her again, totally here. She doesn't know if it's because he's no longer looking at the pool or because he's terrified. Maybe it's both. "Do you understand?"
.. Lisey nods. Her own fear is so great it's incapacitating, and any sense of exhilaration at having him back is gone. Has he lived with this all his life? If so, how has he lived with it? But even now, in the extremity of her terror, she supposes and knows. Two things have tied him to the earth and saved him from the long boy. His writing is one. The other has a waist he can put his arms around and an ear into which he can whisper.
.. "Concentrate, Lisey. Do it now. Bust your brains."
-----------------------------------------------------------
NO PLACE LIKE HOME -- Mesh
... from the moment that I heard you calling
to the second that I heard this morning
from the moment that you passed away
the only church you had was far away, and
we'll be there for you to throw the lifeline
we'll be there for you to see in the sunshine
move slowly for your brother's sake
you said they need you: now it's all too much to take ...
.. Paul has blue eyes and Scott loves him more then anyone, more than he loves himself. This morning Paul's arms are covered in blood, crisscrossed with cuts, and now Daddy goes to his pocketknife again, the hateful pocketknife that has drunk so much of their blood, and raises it up to catch the morning sun. Daddy came downstairs yelling for them, yelling -- Bool! Bool! Get in here you two! If the bool's on Paul he cuts Scott and if the bool's on Scott he cuts Paul. Even in the bad-gunky Daddy understands love.
-----------------------------------------------------------
THE MOMENT I SAID IT -- Imogen Heap
... just put back the car keys
or somebody's gonna get hurt
who are you calling at this hour
sit down, come round, I need you now.
we’ll work it all out, together
but we’re getting nowhere tonight
now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better
somehow in time ...
.. His drinking, always heavy has now begun to scare her. She sees the inevitable crash coming if he doesn't pull back. And the emptiness of her womb is beginning to depress her. They made a deal, yeah, sure, but under the yum-yum tree she didn't fully understand that the years pass and time has weight. He may begin to write again when they get back to America, but what will she do? He never lied to me, she thinks as she lies on the Bremen bed with her arm over her eyes, but she sees a time -- and not all that distant -- when this fact will no longer satisfy, and the prospect frightens her. Sometimes she wishes she had never sat under that smucking willow with Scott Landon.
.. Sometimes she wishes she had never met him at all.
-----------------------------------------------------------
GAS TANK -- Home Video
... i'm the one you want
and how long till that goes away
when i say yes to you
you flip the other way
make your move
it's your turn to crush me ...
.. "One lies and the other swears to it," Jim Dooley said, and after that things happened with a speed and a ferocity Lisey could hardly credit, although every moment of the beating and mutilation that followed remained vivid in her mind for the rest of her life, right down to the sound of his dry and rapid breathing, right down to the way his khaki shirt strained at the buttons, showing little winks of the white tee-shirt beneath it as he slapped her across the face, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand again. Eight blows in all, eight-eight-lay-them-straight they chanted as children skip-roping in the dooryard dust, and the sound of his skin on her skin was like dry kindling snapped over a knee, and although the hand he used was ringless -- there was that much to be grateful for -- the fourth and fifth blows beat the blood from her lips, the sixth and seventh sent it spraying, and the last rode high enough to smash into her nose and send that gushing as well. By then she was crying in fear and pain.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE THEM LEFT? -- Blaqk Audio
... sweetness, could they have just a taste of this, this beautiful disgrace
they find you criminal, delectable
they find me intangible, invisible
gone without a trace
it's just a matter of time
strip for me as I have stripped for you
we've got nothing to hide and we've got less to lose
strip for me as I have stripped for you
i've got nothing to hide and less to lose ...
.. When it was done and you went to sleep, I lay awake and listened to the clock on your nightstand and the wind outside and understood that I was really home, that in bed with you was home, and something that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone. It could not stay. It had been banished. It knew how to come back, I was sure of that, but it could not stay, and I could really go to sleep. My heart cracked with gratitude. I think it was the first gratitude I've ever really known. I lay there beside you and the tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. I love you then and I love you now and I have loved you every second in between. I don't care if you understand me. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. I've never forgotten how safe I felt with that thing gone out of the darkness.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WAS IT A DREAM -- 30 Seconds to Mars
... your reflection I've erased
like a thousand burned out yesterdays
believe me when I say goodbye forever
is for good
was it a dream?
is this the only evidence that proves
a photograph of you and I ...
.. The only other thing she'd squirreled away in here from their cut-rate, non-religious (but it had held for all that, had held very well) wedding day was a photograph taken at the reception. It showed her and Scott out on the floor as they began their first dance. She was in her white lace dress, Scott in a plain black suit -- My undertaker's suit, he called it -- which he'd bought special for the occasion. She was looking at Scott and he was smiling down at her, his hands on her waist, and oh God, look how long his hair had been, almost brushing his shoulders, she had forgotten that.
-----------------------------------------------------------
UNTIL I WAKE UP -- Dishwalla
... into clear space
vivid vision
see her shape
at my bedside
beam up my mind please
there's nothing in motion, and I'm satisfied
no disappointment, until I wake up ...
.. He gives a sorry little shrug and turns his head aside. This time the coughing is worse, and she observes with horror that the flow into the tubes is a thicker, richer red. He gropes out and takes her hand again. "I was lost in the dark," he whispers. "You found me."
.. "Scott, no--"
.. He nods. Yes.
.. "You saw me whole. Everything..." He uses his free hand to make a weak circling gesture: Everything the same. He is smiling a little now as he looks at her.
-----------------------------------------------------------
TO DIE FOR -- The Birthday Massacre
... tighten your tie boy
you're something to die for
but don't hold your breath now
you're just killing time
tonight you can dream boy
imagine a whisper
if you can keep secrets
then I'll tell you mine
remember a promise you couldn't hold on to
though it brings me to tears now i need you to know
look in my eyes boy
nothing like yours now
it seems that a lifetime
is passing us by
so open your eyes ...
.. "In the fall," she says.
.. He nods, reaching for a plate. "Good. October?"
.. "Maybe too soon. Say right around Thanksgiving. Are there any eggs left for you?"
.. "There be one, and one be all I want."
.. She says, "I won't marry you if you don't buy some new underwear."
.. He doesn't laugh. "Then I'll make it a priority."
-----------------------------------------------------------
SLEEP SONG -- Rooney
... sometimes I feel
like I'll never fall asleep
I feel helpless
you can't help me
fall asleep
I like to dream
but it scares me to think
that at some point
I'll forget when the dream began ...
.. She turns toward the dim maw of the kitchen and catches sight of him curled up in bed. He's sleeping in his usual semi-fetal position, knees almost to his chest, forehead touching the wall. She has told him several times that he'd have more room if he slept on the outside, but he won't. Now he shifts a little, the springs squeak, and in the glow of the streetlight coming in the window, Lisey can see a dark wing of hair fall across his cheek.
.. He wasn't in bed.
.. But there he is, on the inside. If she doubts, she could put her hand under the sheaf of hair she's looking at, lift it, feel it's weight.
.. So maybe I just dreamed he was gone?
-----------------------------------------------------------
AND SO IS LOVE -- Kate Bush
... we let it in
we give it out
and in the end
what's it all about?
it must be love
we used to say
"ah hell, we're young"
but now we see that life is sad
and so is love ...
.. Lying on her wet bed in her soaking shorts, Lisey burst into tears. She had a great deal to do now, and had come back with most of the steps clear in her mind but first she needed to finish grieving for her husband. She put her arm over her eyes and lay so for the next five minutes, sobbing until her eyes were swollen nearly shut and her throat ached. She had never thought she would want him so much or miss him so badly. It was a shock.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WHEN THE STARS GO BLUE -- Ryan Adams
... laughing with your pretty mouth
laughing with your broken eyes
laughing with your lover's tongue
in a lullabye
where do you go when you're lonely?
where do you go when you're blue?
where do you go when you're lonely?
i'll follow you
when the stars go blue ...
.. Babyluv: If you need an anchor to hold your place in the world -- not Boo'ya Moon but the one we shared, use the african. You know how to get it back. Kisses -- at least a thousand,
Scott
-----------------------------------------------------------
LOS REYES CATOLICOS (reprise) -- Tears for Fears
... when time is like a needle
and night is the longest day
a home is a cathedral
a place where a king can pray
ghosts all gone
ghosts all gone
to another plane ...
.. Everything the same. I love you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
YAYYAYAYYAYAYAY finally. I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM HELL. D: tomorrow I will put this on the fanmix community. XD
2006. Meet Lisey Landon. Lisey is the widow of the popular author Scott Landon -- yeah, the same
[ This smucking cut below contains the .zip file, a tracklisting (featuring such eargasms as 65daysofstatic, Kate Bush, Guano Apes, The Birthday Massacre, Mesh, Tears for Fears and Imogen Heap) and the front & back covers of many yays -- featuring Jennifer Connelly as the widowed heroine and hotshot "gal pal" Lisey Landon and Kevin Zegers as the late and way too great Scott Landon. Also, some Norman Reedus as the horrible Jim Dooley, and Bryce Dallas Howard as young!Amanda for good measure. I'm hoping this whole fan-ordeal cons more people into reading the book, because hot damn, it's love. ]
Welcome to SOWISA, a fanmix surrounding the 2006 novel by Stephen King, Lisey's Story and the second in what'll probably be a line of King fanmixes (you can find the first, for The Long Walk, here). I didn't really know what to expect when I started reading this book, but it struck something with me and quickly grew on me. The imagery is gorgeous, the characters are addictive and you just don't want the damn book to end. Stephen King tries his hand once more at a main female protagonist, and just like he does with all of his works, makes
SOWISA -- a fanmix for Lisey's Story
"I am crazy, Lisey. I have delusions and visions. I write them down, that's all. I write them down and people pay me to read them."
-----------------------------------------------------------
DROVE THROUGH GHOSTS TO GET HERE -- 65daysofstatic
... (instrumental) ...
.. "This is our time now. You and me. That's what matters."
.. You and me. But does she want that? Now that she sees how narrowly he's balanced? Now that she has a picture of what life may be like? Then she thinks of how his lips felt in the hollow of her temple, touching that special secret place, and she thinks, Maybe I do. Doesn't every hurricane have an eye?
.. "Is it?" she asks.
.. For several seconds he says nothing. Only holds her.
.. "Baby," he says at last.
.. Pauses.
.. Then: "Babyluv."
.. Lisey Debusher, twenty-two, weary of her family and equally tired of being on her own, it is enough. Finally enough. He has hollered her home, and in the dark she gives in to the Scott of him. From then until the end she will never look back.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WONDERFUL LIFE -- Gwen Stefani
... I thought of you again today
reminded me how in time I've changed
if you only knew what you gave to me
now you can't be found
and you were the first I trusted
I learned what love is
when we were just kids
when did you get so lost
how could you think you'd be better off ...
.. -- I don't know, Scott. I'll think about it.
.. Not meaning to. Wanting to never think about it again, if she could help it. As far as Lisey was concerned, the smucking looneytune with the little gun could join the other things she's successfully forgotten since meeting Scott.
.. -- Hot, wasn't it?
.. Lying in bed. Still pale, far too pale, but starting to get a little of his color back. Casual, no special look, just making conversation. And Lisey Now, Lisey Alone, the widow Landon, shivered.
.. "He didn't remember," she murmured.
-----------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU BELIEVE -- Our Lady Peace
... if you believe in the world i'm calling
if you believe in the world i saw
if you believe in the world i'm calling
you'd be strong ...
.. For awhile wait for the wind change had become part of their marriage's interior language, like strap it on or SOWISA and smuck for fuck. Then it had fallen out of favor somewhere along the way, and she hadn't thought of it for years: wait for the wind to change. Meaning don't give up yet.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WALK THIS EARTH ALONE -- Lauren Christy
... but I walk this earth alone
but all I've ever known
is you are right beside me
if I love you for a day
you'll blow my life away
could I leave you behind me ...
.. Scott puts a hand to his face, rubs it, looks at her again. And he's back. Just like that. "Christ, Lisey," he says. "I've never talked about this stuff, never, not to anyone. Are you okay with this?"
.. "Yes, Scott."
.. "You're one hell of a brave woman, then. Have you started telling yourself it's all bullshit yet?" He's even grinning a little. It's an uncertain grin, but it's genuine enough to kiss: first one corner, then the other just for balance.
.. "Oh, I tried," she says. "It didn't work."
-----------------------------------------------------------
FRAGILE -- Lacuna Coil
... dare is about obsession
it’s something inside
wounds are bleeding in my hands
turning blind
no one will ever stop this self made decline
nothing really matters
he’s watching me
what if I look away and deal with it
digging in my grave
I won’t deny it ...
.. "It's very close, honey. I can't see it, but I..." Another long, screaming intake of breath. "I hear it taking its meal. And grunting." Smiling that bloody clown-smile as he says it.
.. "Scott, I don't know what you're talk--"
.. The hand that has been tugging at her top has some strength left in it, after all. It pinches her side, and cruelly -- when she takes her top off much later, in the motel room, she'll see a bruise, a true lover's knot.
.. "You..." Screamy breath. "Know..." Another screamy breath, deeper. And still grinning, as if they share some horrible secret. A purple secret, the color of bruises. The color of a certain flowers that grow on certain
.. (hush Lisey oh hush)
.. yes, on certain hillsides. "You... know... so don't... insult my... intelligence." Another whistling, screaming breath. "Or your own."
-----------------------------------------------------------
PHANTASMAGORE -- Deadsy
... bereathed in burning fires
a plasmic herald sinks alone and cries
"let bleed the nectars of devotion"
beneath the earth still lies phantasmic emerald paradises
come cosmic thunder, sip the potion
let the suicide of music take control
as the carrier infuses to your soul ...
.. He's leading her someplace. She feels high grass whispering against her thighs. Then it's gone and she realizes they're on a well-worn path cutting through the drifts of lupin. It leads into what Scott calls the sweetheart trees, and she wonders if there are people here. If there are, how do they stand it? Lisey wonders. She wants to look again at that ascending goblin moon, but she doesn't dare.
.. "Be quiet under the trees," Scott says. "We should be okay a little longer, but better safe than sorry is a good rule to follow even on the edge of the Fairy Forest."
.. Lisey doesn't think she could talk much above a whisper even if he demanded it. She's doing well to manage Oh, Scott.
-----------------------------------------------------------
HIGH -- Guano Apes
... the wind falls, into a wave
shadows calling I'm the ache
nightmare's turned me back
into a little girl
stop in the mud try was so clear
when suddenly
and the body starts to shiver
hold me
it is not too high
I can make it ...
.. Scott knows, too. The arm around her, just below her breasts, tightens a bit more. Once again his lips move against the cup of her ear. "If we're going home, we have to go right now," he murmurs. He's totally with her again, totally here. She doesn't know if it's because he's no longer looking at the pool or because he's terrified. Maybe it's both. "Do you understand?"
.. Lisey nods. Her own fear is so great it's incapacitating, and any sense of exhilaration at having him back is gone. Has he lived with this all his life? If so, how has he lived with it? But even now, in the extremity of her terror, she supposes and knows. Two things have tied him to the earth and saved him from the long boy. His writing is one. The other has a waist he can put his arms around and an ear into which he can whisper.
.. "Concentrate, Lisey. Do it now. Bust your brains."
-----------------------------------------------------------
NO PLACE LIKE HOME -- Mesh
... from the moment that I heard you calling
to the second that I heard this morning
from the moment that you passed away
the only church you had was far away, and
we'll be there for you to throw the lifeline
we'll be there for you to see in the sunshine
move slowly for your brother's sake
you said they need you: now it's all too much to take ...
.. Paul has blue eyes and Scott loves him more then anyone, more than he loves himself. This morning Paul's arms are covered in blood, crisscrossed with cuts, and now Daddy goes to his pocketknife again, the hateful pocketknife that has drunk so much of their blood, and raises it up to catch the morning sun. Daddy came downstairs yelling for them, yelling -- Bool! Bool! Get in here you two! If the bool's on Paul he cuts Scott and if the bool's on Scott he cuts Paul. Even in the bad-gunky Daddy understands love.
-----------------------------------------------------------
THE MOMENT I SAID IT -- Imogen Heap
... just put back the car keys
or somebody's gonna get hurt
who are you calling at this hour
sit down, come round, I need you now.
we’ll work it all out, together
but we’re getting nowhere tonight
now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better
somehow in time ...
.. His drinking, always heavy has now begun to scare her. She sees the inevitable crash coming if he doesn't pull back. And the emptiness of her womb is beginning to depress her. They made a deal, yeah, sure, but under the yum-yum tree she didn't fully understand that the years pass and time has weight. He may begin to write again when they get back to America, but what will she do? He never lied to me, she thinks as she lies on the Bremen bed with her arm over her eyes, but she sees a time -- and not all that distant -- when this fact will no longer satisfy, and the prospect frightens her. Sometimes she wishes she had never sat under that smucking willow with Scott Landon.
.. Sometimes she wishes she had never met him at all.
-----------------------------------------------------------
GAS TANK -- Home Video
... i'm the one you want
and how long till that goes away
when i say yes to you
you flip the other way
make your move
it's your turn to crush me ...
.. "One lies and the other swears to it," Jim Dooley said, and after that things happened with a speed and a ferocity Lisey could hardly credit, although every moment of the beating and mutilation that followed remained vivid in her mind for the rest of her life, right down to the sound of his dry and rapid breathing, right down to the way his khaki shirt strained at the buttons, showing little winks of the white tee-shirt beneath it as he slapped her across the face, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand, backhand then forehand again. Eight blows in all, eight-eight-lay-them-straight they chanted as children skip-roping in the dooryard dust, and the sound of his skin on her skin was like dry kindling snapped over a knee, and although the hand he used was ringless -- there was that much to be grateful for -- the fourth and fifth blows beat the blood from her lips, the sixth and seventh sent it spraying, and the last rode high enough to smash into her nose and send that gushing as well. By then she was crying in fear and pain.
-----------------------------------------------------------
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE THEM LEFT? -- Blaqk Audio
... sweetness, could they have just a taste of this, this beautiful disgrace
they find you criminal, delectable
they find me intangible, invisible
gone without a trace
it's just a matter of time
strip for me as I have stripped for you
we've got nothing to hide and we've got less to lose
strip for me as I have stripped for you
i've got nothing to hide and less to lose ...
.. When it was done and you went to sleep, I lay awake and listened to the clock on your nightstand and the wind outside and understood that I was really home, that in bed with you was home, and something that had been getting close in the dark was suddenly gone. It could not stay. It had been banished. It knew how to come back, I was sure of that, but it could not stay, and I could really go to sleep. My heart cracked with gratitude. I think it was the first gratitude I've ever really known. I lay there beside you and the tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the pillow. I love you then and I love you now and I have loved you every second in between. I don't care if you understand me. Understanding is vastly overrated, but nobody ever gets enough safety. I've never forgotten how safe I felt with that thing gone out of the darkness.
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WAS IT A DREAM -- 30 Seconds to Mars
... your reflection I've erased
like a thousand burned out yesterdays
believe me when I say goodbye forever
is for good
was it a dream?
is this the only evidence that proves
a photograph of you and I ...
.. The only other thing she'd squirreled away in here from their cut-rate, non-religious (but it had held for all that, had held very well) wedding day was a photograph taken at the reception. It showed her and Scott out on the floor as they began their first dance. She was in her white lace dress, Scott in a plain black suit -- My undertaker's suit, he called it -- which he'd bought special for the occasion. She was looking at Scott and he was smiling down at her, his hands on her waist, and oh God, look how long his hair had been, almost brushing his shoulders, she had forgotten that.
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UNTIL I WAKE UP -- Dishwalla
... into clear space
vivid vision
see her shape
at my bedside
beam up my mind please
there's nothing in motion, and I'm satisfied
no disappointment, until I wake up ...
.. He gives a sorry little shrug and turns his head aside. This time the coughing is worse, and she observes with horror that the flow into the tubes is a thicker, richer red. He gropes out and takes her hand again. "I was lost in the dark," he whispers. "You found me."
.. "Scott, no--"
.. He nods. Yes.
.. "You saw me whole. Everything..." He uses his free hand to make a weak circling gesture: Everything the same. He is smiling a little now as he looks at her.
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TO DIE FOR -- The Birthday Massacre
... tighten your tie boy
you're something to die for
but don't hold your breath now
you're just killing time
tonight you can dream boy
imagine a whisper
if you can keep secrets
then I'll tell you mine
remember a promise you couldn't hold on to
though it brings me to tears now i need you to know
look in my eyes boy
nothing like yours now
it seems that a lifetime
is passing us by
so open your eyes ...
.. "In the fall," she says.
.. He nods, reaching for a plate. "Good. October?"
.. "Maybe too soon. Say right around Thanksgiving. Are there any eggs left for you?"
.. "There be one, and one be all I want."
.. She says, "I won't marry you if you don't buy some new underwear."
.. He doesn't laugh. "Then I'll make it a priority."
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SLEEP SONG -- Rooney
... sometimes I feel
like I'll never fall asleep
I feel helpless
you can't help me
fall asleep
I like to dream
but it scares me to think
that at some point
I'll forget when the dream began ...
.. She turns toward the dim maw of the kitchen and catches sight of him curled up in bed. He's sleeping in his usual semi-fetal position, knees almost to his chest, forehead touching the wall. She has told him several times that he'd have more room if he slept on the outside, but he won't. Now he shifts a little, the springs squeak, and in the glow of the streetlight coming in the window, Lisey can see a dark wing of hair fall across his cheek.
.. He wasn't in bed.
.. But there he is, on the inside. If she doubts, she could put her hand under the sheaf of hair she's looking at, lift it, feel it's weight.
.. So maybe I just dreamed he was gone?
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AND SO IS LOVE -- Kate Bush
... we let it in
we give it out
and in the end
what's it all about?
it must be love
we used to say
"ah hell, we're young"
but now we see that life is sad
and so is love ...
.. Lying on her wet bed in her soaking shorts, Lisey burst into tears. She had a great deal to do now, and had come back with most of the steps clear in her mind but first she needed to finish grieving for her husband. She put her arm over her eyes and lay so for the next five minutes, sobbing until her eyes were swollen nearly shut and her throat ached. She had never thought she would want him so much or miss him so badly. It was a shock.
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WHEN THE STARS GO BLUE -- Ryan Adams
... laughing with your pretty mouth
laughing with your broken eyes
laughing with your lover's tongue
in a lullabye
where do you go when you're lonely?
where do you go when you're blue?
where do you go when you're lonely?
i'll follow you
when the stars go blue ...
.. Babyluv: If you need an anchor to hold your place in the world -- not Boo'ya Moon but the one we shared, use the african. You know how to get it back. Kisses -- at least a thousand,
Scott
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LOS REYES CATOLICOS (reprise) -- Tears for Fears
... when time is like a needle
and night is the longest day
a home is a cathedral
a place where a king can pray
ghosts all gone
ghosts all gone
to another plane ...
.. Everything the same. I love you.
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YAYYAYAYYAYAYAY finally. I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM HELL. D: tomorrow I will put this on the fanmix community. XD
