I am a sick puppy. D:
Feb. 13th, 2008 12:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenel_kaSo I always have my screwed up lists and weird-ass rambles about fandom, yes? Well here is a new list. MUAHAHAHA~ it is dirty and perverted and all kinds of me. I often wonder why I make these lists and post them, but they amuse me and my LJ is all about amusement, yo. And fangirling.
MY TOP FIVE FICTIONALBANGMAIDS BOY THINGS.
[aka "the five fandom boys i would not hesitate to kidnap and molestzor"]
...
[even if they are super creepy like 3 out of 5... no, wait, I think all of them are creepy D:]
(I had a really bad title for this list originally, and the initials were TFFF. Take that how you will.)
5.) JAMES SUNDERLAND [ Silent Hill 2 ] -- Unf unf unf. He is so normal on the surface. He is so easy to picture walking down the aisles of the grocery store and picking up milk and bread and feminine products for his -- OH WAIT, HE KILLED HIS WIFE, THAT'S RIGHT. MY BAD I FORGOT. But she was a sick thing and being a bitch about it to him, so what better way to alleviate the problem then by SHOVING A PILLOW OVER HER FACE. But but but that jacket, and that hair and that voice~! I'M NOT SICK JAMES I WON'T ANNOY YOU BY COCKBLOCKING YOU WHEN YOU BRING ME FLOWERS. I WANT YOUR DAMN FLOWERS. PLZZZZZZZZ.
4.) SCOTT LANDON [ Stephen King's Lisey's Story ] -- I want a husband exactly like this. This man is ten billion kinds of incredible and fucked up. He writes and he rambles and he sings along to his music and sdkfjaksdaf when he plays tag with Lisey in Germany. aksjdfkjsdfksd. If we were playing Marry, Screw, Kill here -- Scott would definitely times infinity be the marry. In fact, he would be the only marry on this list. Unless #1 stops being a donk. WHICH PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN. :P
The only other thing she'd squirreled away in here from their cut-rate, non-religious (but it had held for all that, had held very well) wedding day was a photograph taken at the reception. It showed her and Scott out on the floor as they began their first dance. She was in her white lace dress, Scott in a plain black suit -- My undertaker's suit, he called it -- which he'd bought special for the occasion. She was looking at Scott and he was smiling down at her, his hands on her waist, and oh God, look how long his hair had been, almost brushing his shoulders, she had forgotten that.
And and and:
She says, "I won't marry you if you don't buy some new underwear."
He doesn't laugh. "Then I'll make it a priority."
ksjadfjasd he so cuuuuuuuuute.
3.) RAITHE/THE CAINESLAYER [ Matthew Woodring Stover's Blade of Tyshalle ] -- His lust for blood is so hot. He is angry and amazing and ohmahgawwwwwwwd. Remember what Stover did with Jacen Solo in Traitor? Raithe is like that hot times ten. TOTALLY THE SON OF YOU KNOW WHO, LOL KRIS, YOU SO DARLING.
Most unsettling, those eyes were: the pale blue-grey of winter ice, set in a face as dark and leathery as that of a Korish desert tribesman. The startling contrast made his stare a disturbing, almost dangerous thing; few men could bear to match his gaze. Fewer still would care to try if they knew just how deeply those pale eyes could see.
ANG GUH OMG KAJdsjakS:
"Who--" I force the words out in a snarl of pain. "Who are you?"
"Don't you know me, Caine?" he says through teeth exposed by a predator's smile. He leans towards me like he's gonna take a bite out of my face, then he shoves a hand into my side, eagle claw style, pinching the flesh through net and leather, scraping the tunic across the burned flesh beneath, making me shudder with fresh pain. His voice is low, and savage, and it smokes like his eyes.
"I'm your best friend."
MMMMM, ANGRY MONASTIC AMBASSADOR.
SEE MY SHIRT BETWEEN STOVER AND MY SISTER. I was like, "HAY HOW ABOUT A WHOLE BOOK ABOUT RAITHE? :DDDDD" And he giggled at my SILLY FANGIRLISHNESS AND LIKED THE SHIRT BECAUSE HE HEARTS RAITHE LIKE I DO.
2.) SIRRUS [ the Myst series ] -- KJFDKSJDFKJD RICH BITCH. I had a crush on him since I got the first game in the early 90's, you guys. I loved Achenar too (so very much), but he is too dirty and schizo for bed, really. Also, Sirrus is probably easy to get into bed because he's a FUCKING BOOZE BUCKET. Although, I would be getting into one of his beds because they are super extravagant and shit. (STONESHIP, YES PLZ.)
1.) JACEN SOLO/DARTH CAEDUS [ Star Wars: EU ] -- did you really think anyone else would top this list? I'm not sure which one I'd want more out of Jacen and Caedus (TWO BOYS IN ONE! :O). I'm just gonna have to go with Caedus on that one, although, he might snap and pull a James Sunderland on me, so maybe I'll switch back to Jacen. Plus, Jacen likes wearing skirts. And he has that cute, innocent (MMMMM TOTALLY CORRUPTABLE) boy thing going on before Dark Nest.
I love how all five characters on this list are in the gray. Like they've done good things and bad things (more bad in some cases *EYES SIRRUS*).
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Zekk (he is totally #6 nomnomnom), Peter McVries (#7, only so high cause of all the emo-baggage from Pris XD), Reiji/Chris (#8 SIX PACK LEADER, SELL ME YOUR KNIVES), Henry Townshend (#9, trapped in an apartment with him, plz), Michael Bluth (#10, he is so perfect D:), Zell Dincht, Vincent Valentine, Steerpike, SANDER COHEN SANDER COHEN LOL SHOCK ME WITH YOUR ELECTROBOLT YOU FREAK TAKE THE EARS OFF. Phew.
Yeah, so good thing they aren't real, cause then I would be a dirty whore. Ew. Grossssssssss. :o~~~~ (that's a charfing emoticon)
(If you get the bangmaid reference then YESSSSSSSSS. XDDDD)
And ohgawd, I forgot how much I loved Blade of Tyshalle.
"That's it?" I say, blinking in disgust at him. "That's what saving your worthless ungrateful butt buys me? 'Kiss off, see you in the next life?' When did you turn into such a suckass?"
AHAHAH STOVER <3
"He comes."
Raithe's voice is flat, and as chill as the chunk of blue ice that's pretending to be the sky. The season's changed overnight and it's colder than a gravedigger's ass out here.
For a second or two, I don't take his meaning; I'm thinking, What is this, some kind of freaky sex joke?
OH CAINE <3.
MY TOP FIVE FICTIONAL
[aka "the five fandom boys i would not hesitate to kidnap and molestzor"]
...
[even if they are super creepy like 3 out of 5... no, wait, I think all of them are creepy D:]
(I had a really bad title for this list originally, and the initials were TFFF. Take that how you will.)
5.) JAMES SUNDERLAND [ Silent Hill 2 ] -- Unf unf unf. He is so normal on the surface. He is so easy to picture walking down the aisles of the grocery store and picking up milk and bread and feminine products for his -- OH WAIT, HE KILLED HIS WIFE, THAT'S RIGHT. MY BAD I FORGOT. But she was a sick thing and being a bitch about it to him, so what better way to alleviate the problem then by SHOVING A PILLOW OVER HER FACE. But but but that jacket, and that hair and that voice~! I'M NOT SICK JAMES I WON'T ANNOY YOU BY COCKBLOCKING YOU WHEN YOU BRING ME FLOWERS. I WANT YOUR DAMN FLOWERS. PLZZZZZZZZ.
4.) SCOTT LANDON [ Stephen King's Lisey's Story ] -- I want a husband exactly like this. This man is ten billion kinds of incredible and fucked up. He writes and he rambles and he sings along to his music and sdkfjaksdaf when he plays tag with Lisey in Germany. aksjdfkjsdfksd. If we were playing Marry, Screw, Kill here -- Scott would definitely times infinity be the marry. In fact, he would be the only marry on this list. Unless #1 stops being a donk. WHICH PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN. :P
The only other thing she'd squirreled away in here from their cut-rate, non-religious (but it had held for all that, had held very well) wedding day was a photograph taken at the reception. It showed her and Scott out on the floor as they began their first dance. She was in her white lace dress, Scott in a plain black suit -- My undertaker's suit, he called it -- which he'd bought special for the occasion. She was looking at Scott and he was smiling down at her, his hands on her waist, and oh God, look how long his hair had been, almost brushing his shoulders, she had forgotten that.
And and and:
She says, "I won't marry you if you don't buy some new underwear."
He doesn't laugh. "Then I'll make it a priority."
ksjadfjasd he so cuuuuuuuuute.
3.) RAITHE/THE CAINESLAYER [ Matthew Woodring Stover's Blade of Tyshalle ] -- His lust for blood is so hot. He is angry and amazing and ohmahgawwwwwwwd. Remember what Stover did with Jacen Solo in Traitor? Raithe is like that hot times ten. TOTALLY THE SON OF YOU KNOW WHO, LOL KRIS, YOU SO DARLING.
Most unsettling, those eyes were: the pale blue-grey of winter ice, set in a face as dark and leathery as that of a Korish desert tribesman. The startling contrast made his stare a disturbing, almost dangerous thing; few men could bear to match his gaze. Fewer still would care to try if they knew just how deeply those pale eyes could see.
ANG GUH OMG KAJdsjakS:
"Who--" I force the words out in a snarl of pain. "Who are you?"
"Don't you know me, Caine?" he says through teeth exposed by a predator's smile. He leans towards me like he's gonna take a bite out of my face, then he shoves a hand into my side, eagle claw style, pinching the flesh through net and leather, scraping the tunic across the burned flesh beneath, making me shudder with fresh pain. His voice is low, and savage, and it smokes like his eyes.
"I'm your best friend."
MMMMM, ANGRY MONASTIC AMBASSADOR.
SEE MY SHIRT BETWEEN STOVER AND MY SISTER. I was like, "HAY HOW ABOUT A WHOLE BOOK ABOUT RAITHE? :DDDDD" And he giggled at my SILLY FANGIRLISHNESS AND LIKED THE SHIRT BECAUSE HE HEARTS RAITHE LIKE I DO.
2.) SIRRUS [ the Myst series ] -- KJFDKSJDFKJD RICH BITCH. I had a crush on him since I got the first game in the early 90's, you guys. I loved Achenar too (so very much), but he is too dirty and schizo for bed, really. Also, Sirrus is probably easy to get into bed because he's a FUCKING BOOZE BUCKET. Although, I would be getting into one of his beds because they are super extravagant and shit. (STONESHIP, YES PLZ.)
1.) JACEN SOLO/DARTH CAEDUS [ Star Wars: EU ] -- did you really think anyone else would top this list? I'm not sure which one I'd want more out of Jacen and Caedus (TWO BOYS IN ONE! :O). I'm just gonna have to go with Caedus on that one, although, he might snap and pull a James Sunderland on me, so maybe I'll switch back to Jacen. Plus, Jacen likes wearing skirts. And he has that cute, innocent (MMMMM TOTALLY CORRUPTABLE) boy thing going on before Dark Nest.
I love how all five characters on this list are in the gray. Like they've done good things and bad things (more bad in some cases *EYES SIRRUS*).
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Zekk (he is totally #6 nomnomnom), Peter McVries (#7, only so high cause of all the emo-baggage from Pris XD), Reiji/Chris (#8 SIX PACK LEADER, SELL ME YOUR KNIVES), Henry Townshend (#9, trapped in an apartment with him, plz), Michael Bluth (#10, he is so perfect D:), Zell Dincht, Vincent Valentine, Steerpike, SANDER COHEN SANDER COHEN LOL SHOCK ME WITH YOUR ELECTROBOLT YOU FREAK TAKE THE EARS OFF. Phew.
Yeah, so good thing they aren't real, cause then I would be a dirty whore. Ew. Grossssssssss. :o~~~~ (that's a charfing emoticon)
(If you get the bangmaid reference then YESSSSSSSSS. XDDDD)
And ohgawd, I forgot how much I loved Blade of Tyshalle.
"That's it?" I say, blinking in disgust at him. "That's what saving your worthless ungrateful butt buys me? 'Kiss off, see you in the next life?' When did you turn into such a suckass?"
AHAHAH STOVER <3
"He comes."
Raithe's voice is flat, and as chill as the chunk of blue ice that's pretending to be the sky. The season's changed overnight and it's colder than a gravedigger's ass out here.
For a second or two, I don't take his meaning; I'm thinking, What is this, some kind of freaky sex joke?
OH CAINE <3.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 06:03 am (UTC)Two words: Fuck. Yes. :D
And and and Jacen. There is nothing better than crazy goofball men in skirts. Trufax.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:49 am (UTC)AND YOU HAVE TO LOVE JACEN IN A SKIRT~~ Muahahahaha!
no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 06:26 am (UTC)Best line evrrr.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 06:53 am (UTC)bodyheart of Jacen Solo, I challenge you to... A DUEL!no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 02:09 pm (UTC)Though I may have to fight with you over him... Heck, I wouldn't say no to either Jacen or Darth Caedus. *big grin* And that makes me sound easy ... oh well, it's all for a good cause when it's a sexy Jedi Knight or hotlicous, swoon inducing Dark Lord of the Sith. *drools*
BTW, could I nab the banner with credit?
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-24 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 02:14 am (UTC)ILU!!!
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Date: 2008-02-23 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 03:47 pm (UTC)And dude, you make me want to read more Stover. XD
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:54 am (UTC)AND YES. STOVER IS INCREDIBLE AND MADE OF WIN. Heroes Die & Blade of Tyshalle are two of the greatest books I've ever read. That man is awesome. XD