c&c is suck in my heeeeead
May. 6th, 2010 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenel_kaSo I still don't know wtf is going on with this pain. I've been to my doctor twice, two specialists (three times altogether) and the freakin' hospital. And everyone is just sort of like, "Duuhhhh whattttt"
I don't have any leave left at at work thanks to all these damn appointments and tests so I am about 95% sure I will have to cancel my California trip (and lose all the money that will be non-refundable from airline tickets and shit). I am pretty pissed off about it all. And to top it all off, I'M STILL IN PAIN. :|
I've been trying to focus on creative things (costumes, websites, fanfiction) to make myself feel better but I can't really focus on anything at all usually because of the pain. I have to lay a certain way to get any sleep, I have to stand up and walk around cause if I sit too long it hurts -- piiiisssssssssssed off.
I mean, I wrote a beginning to the ZOMG HORROR SW FIC I have actually been excited about and I don't know if I like it or not. I have been second guessing myself on it. IT'S LIKE THREE PARAGRAPHS LONG AND I AM HAVING FULL ON DEBATES WITH MYSELF ABOUT IT. WHAT IS THIS, SELF? THIS IS FANFICTIONNNNNNNNN WHATTTTTTTT. This is making me do silly things.
So I told myself today in a motivational fashion, I said, "Heather, you are more awesome than this pain. You can get shit done and kick the pain in the ass somehow. It will go away. You will be able to do stuff besides stare at the ceiling while being all sprawled out on the couch."
(Don't ask me where pain got an ass from. D:)
After all that monologuing with myself, I decided that I WILL focus on other things (dammit) and I WILL get all my creative crap done. This means writing, costumes, buttons, websites and making all the damn jewelry I've wanted to make with the random pieces that are piling up around me.
STUFF. IT WILL BE DONE.
I don't have any leave left at at work thanks to all these damn appointments and tests so I am about 95% sure I will have to cancel my California trip (and lose all the money that will be non-refundable from airline tickets and shit). I am pretty pissed off about it all. And to top it all off, I'M STILL IN PAIN. :|
I've been trying to focus on creative things (costumes, websites, fanfiction) to make myself feel better but I can't really focus on anything at all usually because of the pain. I have to lay a certain way to get any sleep, I have to stand up and walk around cause if I sit too long it hurts -- piiiisssssssssssed off.
I mean, I wrote a beginning to the ZOMG HORROR SW FIC I have actually been excited about and I don't know if I like it or not. I have been second guessing myself on it. IT'S LIKE THREE PARAGRAPHS LONG AND I AM HAVING FULL ON DEBATES WITH MYSELF ABOUT IT. WHAT IS THIS, SELF? THIS IS FANFICTIONNNNNNNNN WHATTTTTTTT. This is making me do silly things.
So I told myself today in a motivational fashion, I said, "Heather, you are more awesome than this pain. You can get shit done and kick the pain in the ass somehow. It will go away. You will be able to do stuff besides stare at the ceiling while being all sprawled out on the couch."
(Don't ask me where pain got an ass from. D:)
After all that monologuing with myself, I decided that I WILL focus on other things (dammit) and I WILL get all my creative crap done. This means writing, costumes, buttons, websites and making all the damn jewelry I've wanted to make with the random pieces that are piling up around me.
STUFF. IT WILL BE DONE.
